Writings

Welcome to the Nesthole's page of creativity. The nesthole is a hive of artistic expression, producing crap cartoons a plenty, one play (which no-one will get the references to because they were based on the Dormouse's sole employment in the last 10 years or so), and some stories, which are generally pretty dire. Not for the religious or otherwise easily offended. Or for the intelligent and literate.

Silence of the Lambs

Fatman saves all three lambs and quickly salves his conscience, thereby enabling him to continue to sleep like a blubber whale that's eaten a pneumatic drill.

added 21/06/08 by fatman

Karswell Parked

A Night of the Demon inspired passage excerpted from the gargantuan Fatman's Odyssey. Classic verse concerning the perilous parking on Sparky Lane.

added 12/04/08 by fatman

La-Dole-a

Music Hall entertainment somewhere on the road to Wigan Pier past the Golden Gate

added 29/02/08 by fatman

Fat's Entertainment

Dave the chords are G, Em7, Em repeated and then C, F, C, F for the chorus. MP3 version coming soon...

added 26/01/08 by fatman

Albert Map's Night Out

Not so much an adventure this time, more a recounting of the sufferings of Albert Map.

added 26/01/08 by fatman

Albert Map's Summer Vacation

Albert Map's Summer adventures.

added 14/01/08 by fatman

A Crackhead Christmas

Albert Map's Festive adventures.

added 24/12/07 by fatman

Ouija of Hell

The horror is only increased by the fact that this is based on several true stories

added 31/10/07 by goblin

A Womb With A View

Despite the very funny title, this is actually a serious book exposing the mistreatment of (especially female) patients by medical professionals.

added 12/10/07 by hat

David the Green Engine

An illustrated story about David Cameron and his chuffing friends.

added 6/08/07 by goblin

Fatman's Poetry Corner

Hollis Brown lived on the outside of town. The town wasn't RUNCORN though, was it? eh?

added 31/07/07 by fatman

The Hound of the Nolans

Adapted from Sir Albert Map-Nolan's previous submission to the Nesthole. i.e a book review of the Hound of the Baskervilles for his GCSE Eng Lit. If I had a quid for every time some moron Daily Mail reader told me exams are too easy these days, I'd have enough money to buy myself a nice little semi, build a big fence round it, and start reading the Daily Mail. This might force me to concede some ground though.

added 28/07/07 by fatman

Winnie the Pooh: A Red Terror Story

Like Animal Farm, but without the erudition, or the horses.

added 22/07/07 by goblin

Fishyfinger

A spoof of Ian Fleming (because the nesthole thinks there is always room in the genre for another- we spend a lot of time debating whether Beauty is Truth).

added 22/07/07 by goblin

The Myth of Peck

Deserves to be called the 'Runcorneid' for its epic scope. Also worth a look if you want to improve your tennis. Don't ask about the Quo poster, apparently it is 'too crude.'

added 22/07/07 by fatman

A Ghost Story

The spirit of Edgar Allan Poe strikes in a chilling tale of what happens if you go on a business conference to Scotland, leaving your beloved Jane behind.

added 22/07/07 by fatman

The History of Newent School

For those of you who don't know, it was a standard comprehensive, founded 1965. Therefore, it seems somewhat surprising that it has a Latin motto that no-one could understand, since they didn't teach Latin, a crest, and head teachers who thought they were in a Dickens novel and who wore gowns. Anyway, I am proud to announce my first historical publication, which can also be viewed by logging into Friends Reunited, going to Newent Community School, and clicking on 'history.' Sadly, none of the plebians I went to school with have seen fit to comment.

added 22/07/07 by goblin

McDuff's Memorable Evening

Like if Henry James was stuck in a hotel room with a copy of the Fellowship of the Ring and the telly was stuck on the Bravo channel.

added 22/07/07 by OG

The Duties of a Man in the Forest

'No man is an island, entireof to himself/ ask not for whom the bell kNolans/ it kNolans for thee.'

added 22/07/07 by King Rich

Bravo Two Zero Istanbul

Because there's nothing quite like the escapism of reading about Americans killing people.

added 22/07/07 by goblin

Master Julian

A renaissance man struggles in an alien and threatening world- I would compare this to Hamlet.

added 22/07/07 by goblin

Tilly's First Term

A Blyton-esque tale of university life

added 22/07/07 by goblin